J-WOWW Slims Down For Jersey Shore Season Premiere
I’m not sure what was more exciting to be tuned into last night…the anticipated season four premiere of The Jersey Shore or the twitter activity that was trending…they said it the fans tweeted it. This is the season in which the eight cast members returning from last season: DJ Pauly D, The Sitch, Vinny, single Ronnie, J-WOWW’s boobies, not single Snooki, Deena Nicole and Sammi Sweetheart take Italy by storm.
Trending topics throughout the hour-long episode included “T-shirt time,” “TAXI SON AQUI (“CABS ARE HERE” in Italian, clearly Pauly-D was tapping into his cultural side),” and all of the cast members’ names. Although the premiere itself didn’t give the fans any fights (other than Pauly D’s attack by Deena via tongue) at least J-WOWWed us with her new and extremely slim hot bod.
Snooki, clearly proud to no longer be snookin’ for love now that she has found her gorilla juicehead Jionni, was boasting about her weight loss to The Situation, which apparently led to a little smushin’ a few months back (with obviously no more cushion for the pushin’ though). Only time shall tell if they really hooked up, but by the looks of previews…Sitch got it in. Despite Snooki’s “little Snooki workouts” as Pauly D called them, consisting of running up and down two flights of stairs followed by “having sex with herself” and miniature crunches that could not have possibly been affective (you don’t have to be Jillian Michaels to know that one inch crunches don’t do shit), it was quite easy to not notice Snooki’s weight loss when she stood next to her P.I.C. J-WOWW.
Last season at The Shore, viewers saw J-WOWW’s devastating breakup with her boyfriend Tom (by devastating I mean she took the dogs and was over it within an MTV aired minute). Tom should have gotten out as soon as the indiscretion with Pauly D’s uniquely located piercing back in season one. Not only did Tom steal J-WOWW’s bed and files from their Long Island home (seriously, what the fuck did she have on that flash drive and in those file cabinets, because the bitch was straight buggin’), but her desire to eat as well.
J-WOWW progressively slimmed down during seasons one, two and three, but still managed to keep enough meat on her bones to girl-fight Sammi and intimidate Angelina (she gave her thee solid options in Miami, quote: “You can stay and get your ass beat, you can stay and get your ass beat or you can stay and get your ass beat”). Yet it seemed like in no time, J-WOWW was officially dating her current boyfriend R-R-Roger, aka Roger, which was so romantically declared on the season three finale at – you guessed it – Karma.
So where did every part of J-WOWW go besides her boobs? Between seasons, Roger trained J-WOWW and helped her lose 20 pounds. She also told Life & Style in January that she had stopped drinking to help with her weight loss. Sober J-WOWW? That may be even more drastic of a change than Sammie’s ability to get over Ronnie ( that lasted up until about episode 2).
Although her legs and arms are currently the same size, J-WOWW almost looks a little scary. What happened to the old alcohol loving J-WOWW who never went a night without going H.A.M. on the ham? Maybe J-WOWW will give in to pasta primavera lunches and bottles of vodka to the face in Florence. Will she gain the weight back, or is the meaty J-WOWW gone for good, just like those damn files?